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And on my way to the Coffee Bean (which isn’t actually open for another hour, but the manager’s letting me sit out front until they do open), the following songs on my iPod: The National, “Fake Empire“ Coldplay, “Don’t Panic“ The Pogues, “A Rainy Night In Soho“ U2, “A Sort Of Homecoming“ I felt much […]

I Am In Hell.

The AC here didn’t get fixed — it apparently overheated. On the form the repair guys for the apartment complex left, there’s a series of checkboxes for what work they actually do while they’re out. One of the checkboxes is “Replaced flux capacitor”. That cracks me the fuck up. But it doesn’t make it any […]

The Movie Review: ‘The Happening’

The Movie Review: ‘The Happening’ Rather than write a conventional review explaining why you should or shouldn’t see The Happening (trust me, you shouldn’t), I’m offering an alternative: A dozen and a half of the most mind-bendingly ridiculous elements of the film, which will enable you to marvel at its anti-genius without sacrificing (and I […]

Good Food For Total Retards: Metrosexual Ground Beef Stroganoff

Beef stroganoff is one of those foods most often made by sad, single people or suburban housewives with too little free time for cooking. I myself am a sad, single person, but I’ve figured out a slight variation on the traditional Middle American stroganoff that is completely tasty, easy as hell to make, and only […]