So I definitely have a blocked sublingual gland. I’ve been alleviating the symptoms by…well, you don’t want to know. I seem to have a salivary calculus, or stone, in my sublingual gland under my tongue. I’ve been trying to dislodge it (which is ungodly painful), but I think it’s too big. (This just happens sometimes, and nobody knows why.)
I don’t qualify for Medicaid. I can’t afford insurance. I’ve tracked down the specific procedure required and I would do it myself, but A) I couldn’t do it without a fuck ton of Lidocaine and some specialized probes for dilating my salivary duct, and B) I’d be very, very afraid of cutting my facial nerve and ending up looking like the Joker. There’s also an ultrasonic treatment, but I’m not sure how I’d go about that.
(That probably sounds nuts. But hell, I’m broke and insurance free, and I’m a DIY kind of cat. I could probably build an ultrasonic probe that would break the stone up, given a bit of time.)
It’s probably not life-threatening unless it gets infected. It just hurts like a sonofabitch whenever I eat anything.
So, if you’re of the praying or hoping persuasion, hope and pray for me that I get the job I’m currently applying for, so I can get insurance and get this fucker cut out of my mouth.