If the tech industry worked like the music industry, continued.

“Hey, it’s my rock star devs! How’s it going, guys?”

“It sucks. We busted our ass for months building this thing, and we can’t make enough money to pay rent. We’re all living in the same house.”

“That sucks, but look: you’ll make your money on the next app. That’s how it works. Aren’t the t-shirt sales paying rent?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Hey, that’s the New Media model. It’ll all work out somehow. So what can I do for you?”

“It’s about this web app aggregation thing, that lets people pay one fee and use any web app they want…what’s it called, I forget….”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. We signed a deal with them a few months ago. What about ’em?”

“It sucks! We were getting $2.50 per unique user account creation, but now nobody wants to even sign up directly! They’re using this aggregator, and we’re getting three-hundredths of a cent when a new user uses the app!”

“Yeah, they’ve got really good lawyers, kid–“

“And that’s not the worst part! When we complain about it, everybody on Twitter says we’re fucking greedy assholes, and we ought to be giving the app away for free and making money off t-shirt sales? I mean, do any of these idiots actually know how shitty that money is?”

“Look, you’ve just got to accept it. This is New Media. If you complain, you’re part of the Old Way and you’re atavistic dinosaurs.”

“Man, all we wanted to do was write software and get paid to make it. This is just…I don’t know….”

“Look, this industry is always a gamble, right? You knew that.”

“But our app is popular! People are using it ten thousand times a day, using the aggregator!”

“So what are you complaining about?”

“We’re makingĀ thirty goddamn dollars a day!”

“Hey, sorry kid, that’s how things work in this brave new world. Look: why don’t you go get a day job? Maybe work at Starbucks.”

“Why not? I’d make more fucking money!”

“Do it. Of course, remember, you’re contractually obligated to deliver two more web apps in the next two years, and you still need to pay off that advance based on your royalties–“

“Thirty dollars a day, you mean.”

“Right, whatever. So you’re not gonna get much sleep. But hey, you young people don’t sleep much anyway, right?”

“Wait, but aren’t you still getting paid four times as much as we are by the aggregator?”

“Hey, look, sorry, kid, I got to take this other meeting right now…but let’s get drinks this weekend, yeah?”

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