It'll make you a sexual fuckin' Tyrannosaurus

The Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster is precisely what I need to exact my vengeance on an uncaring and unloving world. Check out the catalog description: Guns & Ammo would be proud.

Load the blaster with fresh batteries and fire at a rate of up to three darts per second! Watch as the belt feeds automatically through the blaster, letting the barrage of firepower continue as you battle your opponent. The piston-powered internal launching system makes it an unstoppable force! Switch to single-shot mode for precision blasting. The removable tripod folds for easy transport – or a quick escape from enemy fire! Even your toughest opponent won’t know what hit him when you unleash the power of the N-STRIKE VULCAN EBF-25 blaster!

The “value pack” even comes with a shoulder strap and extra belt of ammo, so you can roll through the backyard like Jesse Ventura in Predator and fuck shit up with your soft parent-approved Nerf™ darts.

Y’all better pray I don’t get my hands on this. Mass anarchy will ensue.

Listen

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